


the days when mother was there

by eternalmagic



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, but only the second jail, minor persona 5 strikers spoilers, yusuke's backstory never fails to fuck me up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:42:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29814816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalmagic/pseuds/eternalmagic
Summary: Yusuke doesn’t like to dwell on thoughts of the family he never had. But sometimes he can’t just box it away. And there’s not much privacy in the camper.
Relationships: Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	the days when mother was there

**Author's Note:**

> been working more on my longer ryukita fic and been alternating watching a playthrough of the original p5 and playing through strikers. i just got to the start of the second jail and when i saw yusuke roast a man alive i just. had to write something. i'm really, really enjoying strikers so far, and excited to see where it goes. anyway, this is rushed and probably really disjointed and not my best work but i was Feeling It and i love ryukita and wrote this in less than an hour. hopefully you all enjoy in any case
> 
> for those of you following my longer fic, an update is coming soon, just had a lot of things happen since my last update on it

The air in Mt. Aoba Park is that sticky sort of warm even this late into the evening that Yusuke dislikes the most, when his shirt clings to his skin in the most uncomfortable of ways and he feels sweat seeping into his hoodie. He brushes his bangs from his eyes yet again, following along after the other Thieves as they prepare for an early morning in this new Jail.

He feels the others’ eyes on him, knows that they worry for him as much as they are proud of him for his words to Natsume about the  _ Sayuri _ . There’s no secrets to keep--after all, half of the group was there the day he learned what truly happened to his mother, why she died. He knows that  _ they _ know what is likely going through his mind.

But they don’t say anything else beyond their words of reassurance and praise--that he did well, telling Natsume off. For defending his mother’s honor, his mother’s final masterpiece.

The girls say their goodnights and settle into the camper, and Akira leads the way to the tent the boys are sharing on the camper’s roof. Morgana curls around Yusuke’s legs once as he passes by, once again betraying his feline nature, before following Akira up to the roof. Ryuji is the only one who has stayed behind, the only one who never lets things slide. The one who was the first to react to the way Natsume said the  _ Sayuri _ was nothing more than trash.

Yusuke meets Ryuji’s eye. “Everything alright?”

Ryuji shrugs. “Yeah. Just...mind movin’ too fast. Need to wind down before getting ready for sleep.”

Yusuke nods. He can understand the feeling, but his mind is whirling for reasons that are far from Ryuji’s.

The cicadas chirp at the edge of the trees a short distance from the camper. The lantern that Makoto had put up has begun to draw moths, but the stars still shine brightly in the clear sky above.

“Walk with me?” Ryuji eventually says, voice quiet so as not to disturb the others. He’s got a hand held out to Yusuke, inviting him closer.

Yusuke finds he can’t say anything, his thoughts too much of a jumbled mess, so all he can do is take Ryuji’s hand in his and follow as Ryuji sets off away from the parking lot.

They don’t go far--the Masamune statue is a short walk, and this late at night there’s not many people around so they are afforded a small measure of privacy. Ryuji finds a bench, sits down and gently tugs Yusuke down beside him. A bird takes flight somewhere behind them, but they both seem to fall still, letting the quiet summer night envelop them both.

Eventually, Yusuke finds that he’s able to speak. He says, “If I didn’t have the  _ Sayuri _ , I wouldn’t know what she looked like.”

He hadn't been very old when she died. Yusuke hardly remembers her--and all his life when he tried to picture her, she would always look a little like _Sayuri_.

He feels more than sees Ryuji look over at him, study his face. Ryuji squeezes Yusuke’s hand, doesn’t say a word--just makes sure to show that he’s  _ there _ , that Ryuji is there when Yusuke needs it, and won’t leave any time soon. Yusuke squeezes Ryuji's hand back.

“Everything feels…” Yusuke pauses, unsure. Eventually, he says, “So far removed from how my life was before. Just over a year ago, I had no idea that  _ Sayuri _ was…”

He trails off again, exhaling a wavering breath. He doesn't even know how to say it--that his mother had always been there, in some way, and he hadn't really known until Ryuji and the others had barged into his life. He might not have ever known if they hadn't picked Madarame as a target. Yusuke still sometimes wonders if this whole thing has been a dream, and one day he'll wake up back in that shack he'd spent sixteen years of his life in, and he'd be alone.

Ryuji leans over, his hand letting go of Yusuke’s and coming to rest at the back of Yusuke’s neck instead--Ryuji’s palm is sweaty in this sticky summer heat, but the touch is still comforting. Still a reminder that no, no this _isn't_ a dream.

Ryuji presses his lips to Yusuke’s temple--soft, chaste, tender. He whispers, “A lot’s happened since we met. But now you know the truth. And you won’t ever forget it.”

“Because you wouldn’t let me?”

“ _ None _ of us would let you. Just like you won’t let me forget, or let Ann or Akira or the others forget.” Ryuji leans back, and Yusuke looks up to meet his eye. “Can’t say I know what it feels like, not havin’ my mom, but...I know yours must be grateful for what you said to that jerk.”

Yusuke feels something settle tight and hot in his chest, painfully so, and he can only nod. He doesn't cry, but if this happened a year ago, he might have.

Ryuji doesn’t say anything else--just presses another kiss to Yusuke’s temple, takes his hand again and squeezes. They sit together on the bench a while longer, before they both feel their eyes begin to sting and have to get some amount of sleep.

Yusuke doesn’t feel much better--he never does, thinking about the mother-shaped hole in his life, his heart--but he sleeps peacefully. He dreams of sitting at the counter in Leblanc with the family he has surrounding him.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr at x-eternalmagic or howdomaddie, and on twitter as @howdomaddie! if you enjoyed this, please leave me a comment and tell me what you liked most! i promise it will make my day.


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